End Repeat
by April3
Summary: [Seishirou's POV of his relationship with Subaru. ] Sometimes the only way out of a loop is to destroy that which caused it.... *spoilers*


Author's Note: Man, I hated Computer Science...so glad it's gone, but...it gave me interesting idea. The title comes from code used on a really outdated program we did using in class involving loops. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Seishirou wished the game would end. He was rather bored by the lack of variety angst-ridden Subaru presented. He didn't care about very much. Never had, doubtlessly never would. He was indifferent about the end of the world, indifferent about the people in the world. Sure, they served a purpose. He enjoyed killing and he enjoyed Subaru. Or had enjoyed Subaru.   
  
They both were becoming too predictable, he thought lighting a cigarette. If it was up to Subaru, they would carry on this way until the very end of the world. What if the world didn't end? Carrying on this way forever was just too unbearably dreary a thought to bear.   
  
It was at times like these that Seishirou almost regretted getting rid of Hokuto. Not that the act itself or really her death bothered him. Hokuto had had her moments, but he had enjoyed killing her. No, the only sliver of regret he had was how it had pretty much ruined the Subaru he enjoyed playing with oh so very much. That was the problem with people. They made for the worst toys because they took so long to mend.   
  
So the question remained...what to do? It would have to be unpredictable; it would have to change Subaru. But what did Subaru want? If the game was going to end, Seishirou didn't think he'd mind having it end amicably. Killing Subaru now would a worthless gesture at this point. Seishirou was not one for worthless gestures.   
  
Seishirou looked up almost forgetting why he had been standing under the tree in the first place. Then he smirked. It always took Subaru forever and a day to answer a question especially one he didn't expect. And Subaru seemed to never expect anything.   
  
_What would make you happy?_   
  
Subaru had changed from looking dazed and suspicious to looking at Seishirou like he was an absolute moron.   
  
Seishirou put out his cigarette and cocked his head questioningly, waiting with infinite patience for an answer.   
  
"Just how..." Subaru sighed. "Why would it matter, Seishirou-san?"   
  
"I'm curious."   
  
Seishirou was rather delighted to see Subaru's eyes darken with anger.   
  
"Well what I don't feel like humoring you!"   
  
Seishirou always felt proud of himself when he got Subaru to go ballistic.   
  
"How dare you of all people ask me what would make me happy!? If you cared about my being happy, you wouldn't have ruined my life! If you cared about my being happy, we wouldn't be having a discussion about it right now!"   
  
Seishirou frowned slightly because that was true. It was questionable how much he did care, but Subaru was one of the few things he had that made him feel any emotion at all. And despite how little he understood happiness, Seishirou knew it was important to humans. He wondered how he should feel being the cause of someone's unhappiness. That too seemed to have been part of the boring game that never ended.   
  
Subaru sputtered a bit more and Seishirou walked away contemplating.   
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
_Once, Fuuma had asked about the past between him and Subaru. Seishirou hadn't been eager to oblige him, but refusing the Dark Kamui had seemed like the least acceptable of the options presented. He began with the tale of how they had met. Neither Fuuma nor Seishirou paying any attention to Nataku who lay curled up beside them, his head on Fuuma's knee. It was always there. Seishirou found Nataku to be a rather useless so he didn't really care of it listened or not.   
  
As Seishirou told the story he realized that the closer he got to the present, the less there was to say. Everything had been the same old thing day in and day out with Subaru.   
  
He shrugged and told what little there was to say of the repetitious nature of their encounters--   
  
"Like an infinite loop."   
  
Seishirou and Fuuma both turned to look at Nataku. Its eyes were shining with understanding.   
  
Fuuma shrugged dismissively.   
  
"It is an infinite loop," Nataku insisted.   
  
Seishirou smirked deciding to humor it for a change. "So what's an infinite loop then?"   
  
"A program that repeats itself forever because it's missing a crucial code."   
  
Right. Seishirou must have looked confused because Nataku endeavored to explain it again.   
  
"On computers, there are programs. Each is designed to do a specific task. When there's an infinite loop, something is wrong with the program. It will repeat itself endlessly because there is nothing to stop it. It never becomes true."   
  
Seishirou didn't think he had ever heard Nataku say so much before. More importantly, he had never thought Nataku had a clue about what was going on really. Fuuma ruffled its hair, grinning.   
  
"How do you stop an infinite loop?"   
  
"You'd have to stop the program and figure out what's wrong with it. You have to delete the problem and start again. Then the loop will stop and it will become true."   
  
Seishirou wasn't sure how much sense this made to him considering how little he knew about computers, but he knew one thing. It sounded like his life was an infinite loop. He headed out of the building mulling the idea over.   
  
_

  
~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
  
Seishirou had been rather amused that Subaru was so surprised. Not that Subaru would have predicted the game ending like this, his hand running through Seishirou's heart. Something seemed to be missing though, Subaru didn't look any happier.   
  
In fact, it was possible, Subaru looked even more despairing.   
  
"Why?" he asked face distorting with pain as he struggled to remove his hand.   
  
Seishirou almost told him then that this was to end the game, to close the infinite loop, to allow something new to begin. That Seishirou was the bug in the system and that Subaru had even said he would have been happier without him. All that passed through his lips was Hokuto placing the spell.   
  
Subaru stared at him wide-eyed, disbelieving and profoundly...hurt...   
  
Seishirou smiled wondering if he had missed something, something that should have been obvious.   
  
"I had wanted to kill you but I couldn't," Subaru said...or at least that's what Seishirou could make out. He added more; Seishirou managed to just catch the gist of it and smiled almost wistfully. He reached up a hand to caress Subaru's cheek.   
  
"Now that I think about it, you...never could have killed anyone....because...because you're kind."   
  
Was Subaru crying? Seishirou couldn't be sure. He stumbled a bit and leaned heavily against Subaru. There wasn't time to tell him about Setsuka, about how Subaru was his important person. He didn't think he loved Subaru...didn't know how to yet...and never would.   
  
"I...you..." The words weren't coming out clearly.   
  
He strained to remain upright. "Be happy."   
  
He hoped they were the right words, that they'd make some difference. He gave up on fighting gravity and let Subaru catch him as he began to lose consciousness.   
  
"You...never say..the words, I'm expecting to hear, do you?"   
  
Seishirou made no reply, his eyes closed and he smiled as he died.   
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
